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Sunday, December 28, 2008

Another Camp...

for the first time i celebrated Christmas in a 佛堂... the whole thing started on the 21st of December...

21st: for the first time i went to the camp meeting in a 佛堂... it was a very quiet meeting... i mean literally... only a few was speaking during the meeting... or when a person other than the few others, no one wants to listen... and please someone tell me... is the programs for the camp more important than whether to wear school uniform to take group??

22nd: my friend was late fetching me to the venue... so when we reached there... the comp com was not very happy... the schedule for the day was late... cause we didn't get the stuff needed to make the camp booklet... as we were late... so my senior went and got the stuff... then i had vegetarian 广东炒... it was terrible... too wet... then we had a rehearsal for the opening ceremony... not every was there yet so some people were temporary replaced... being a 辅导员, we don't really have to prepare much stuff cause we have to take care fo the kids... most of the kids arrived at night, the day before the camp... rushing the camp booklet until even after dinner... bathed at night... wait i think it is in the morning...

23rd: woke up early for the first time during the holiday... did a 开班礼... kowtow for the first time... falling asleep after the kowtow... don't know why so tired... by the time finished the ritual it was breakfast... very oily lerh...

PS: kinda lazy to continue writing... so i just write about my feelings lorh...

it was a new experience to help out in this kids camp... i somehow saw the younger versions of our teenagers nowadays... perhaps worse... i met new friends... and saw leng zai... i became a vegetarian for at least 4 days... not bad you know... doesn't feel so heavy as when you eat meat...

actually not much to write cause it's 2 in the morning... and i'm watching this dumb soldier movie... so... erm i think that's all...

Sunday, December 21, 2008

过冬

Isn't 过冬 suppose to be when the whole family comes together to make 汤圆?

I woke up this morning to hear my parents chatting... It was 8.30am already... no sign of anyone else...

then i went back to sleep and woke up again at 11am... still no signs of my cousins...

until now... no one has been here... and all the 汤圆 has been cooked... and i had my share of it too...

why won't you guys spend your time to be here... Mama is here for you to care for...

no matter how busy you guys have been... this festival is only once a year like many others... just come back to visit her...

each of us have our own family to care for... but what about those that cared for us when we were younger... those that protects us from harm... who only wants to see you but you have been busy...

take some time out... be with your family... will it kill to spend at least one day in month with your parents??

i may be a kid... but i can see... you are parents yourselves... would you want your kids to treat you the way you are treating your parents now??

百善孝为先
filial piety as the first of the hundreds deed

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Update!

Shiau Ling is finally 1st Dan after like 3 years... Passed with a C... ~ok larh... my average marks for all my grading...~

Shiau Ling got a new laptop... ACER... so now she doesn't have to fight with the family to bring the laptop to school...

Shiau Ling went to PC Fair and saw lots of leng zai gor gor... too bad she didn't dare to take their number and her camera is under repair...

Shiau Ling is changing her room's layout... to be able to bring the laptop in... hehe...

that's all for now... Shiau Ling will be back soon...

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A Friend's Advice to Me

每个人都有优点和缺点。
没有一个人的缺点会多过优点。
你这样认为,
是因为你的想法是负面的,
明白吗?
相信你自己!
只要你好好的和一个人沟通,
当你好好的沟通的同时,
你的思想不要一直往不好的去想。
这样的沟通,
你会发觉到这个世界是多么的完美,
还有很多人都在关心你的。。。

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Four Days.

Four days of camp just went by like that. not much to say and not much to regret.

But before that, i would like to apologise to the form 4s for my behaviour. i admit i shouldn't have lose my cool. i shouldn't have walked away from you guys. but by walking away, only then it doesn't hurt so much.

ok, back to camp...

although the 4 days i wasn't really happy, but at least there were days where i was really happy...

i now have 3 spoiled bikes.. so i know now never to bring my bikes to school, because they always get spoiled there...

i learned that i can do things myself... give me time then i shall finish it... i managed to solve the videos problem... although if i tried early, it would not have taken 2 hours sitting in starbucks.. my connection was down then...

things are not always what they seem... it takes time and heart to go deeper into it... so why can't i be like others? no matter how much i try, it seems like it is unappreciated or wrong... but somewhere deep in my heart, i feel a need to accompany him... where else others were chasing me away...

i realize, how much times has change... you guys have thaught me what i've never known... how naive i was to think you guys were naive...

i felt tension between two people... regardless of who they are... i could sense where things were going to... i wanted to try to stop it from happening... yet it happened... but what do i care... you have always been that way... there is no use changing you...

i tried turning stone hearted to them... but yet when i really need a group of people to chat with... they were there... those that i try to keep away from me...

when i was walking with him, talking with him, though i didn't reveal too much of myself... somehow i felt comforted... there was no form 4 available to talk to... they were all busy with the preparation... who am i suppose to talk with??

i realize, maybe talking is my specialty... all i could do is talk... but somehow... i know what to tell and what not to tell... i know the limits of speech i should have... i don't worry about myself, i think from their point of view... maybe that's why no one accepts me...

being a loser is not that bad actually... being a loser means you can help another person who is going through the same situation as you had experience... you can help them just the way you wanted someone to comfort you, to guide you and to bring you past the obstacle...

having a mask is hard, having a thick armor is harder... but it is all to protect myself... somehow, it is never thick enough... it still hurts like hell...

i promise myself never to cry infront of people... i never did... maybe i should never solve any problem but just run away from it... after all, i would be the person to blame...

who needs to BBQ chicken wings?? find me, for i can stick the chicken wings on to the stick... and you will have a nice chicken wing to eat...

i'm gonna keep my helping hands to myself... say i'm selfish or anything else... but you are no way better than me...

people who love to smile... usually have problems... they love to keep things to themselve... not wanting to involve any other party... because they believe that their problem should never involve anyone else...

i'm going to forget all the problems i kept in my heart... they have been kept so long in my heart that for once, i can't remember what the problem is... i know there is a problem that is clinging... yet i can't say it... so like a cobswebs i'm sweeping you away from my heart...

i'm going to forget about you guys and forget everything that had happened... not thoroughly, but still going to forget... that is the only way to break free from everything... the only way to be the simple minded person i was before...

in conclusion, i found out more about myself... i found out more about others... i had lessons i never knew would be thaught to me...

~LEGACY~you would always be remembered...

Thursday, November 27, 2008

What To Write??

Yo Guys! and girls...

i'm out of ideas about what to write now that i got kinda lazy and bit more mad to write..

i mean, if i were to write everyday... it would be a long entry...

so i just sleep my feelings over and wake up to another day of getting mad... haiz...

so WHAT am i suppose to write??

Thursday, November 6, 2008

你在聆听吗?

我有时觉得自己总不够好。自己是笨的。或者你真是太聪明了。

后来,我发现了为什么会是这样。

因为你根本不在聆听, 甚至不在听。有可能吗?有太大的可能。

听,是用耳朵听,脑来分析。
聆听,是用耳朵听,脑来分析,眼睛来观看,心来听话中所被隐藏的感情。

你根本就不听。

我明白你不是我,我也不是你。我不要求你来了解我。虽然心多么的想,却知道你是冷心的。

我和你活在不同的世界。也许因为你够绝,你没想过其他人的感受。你只是想到自己的利益。根本没想过只要你的耳朵就已经够了。不需要你的否认或赞成,只需知道你有在听。

也许你真的很聪明,所以样样都被赞成。就因为这样,你没试过样样还没被听,就已经否认了。

你不在听,所以我知道你不在聆听。听,这么容易的事,你都做不了,更何况是聆听呢。

我累了。我不想继续聆听,不想装成没事,不想付出,不想被人放弃,不想继续笑,不想为它而活。

我想为自己而活,我想把我的心关上,我想要有选择。

你在聆听吗?

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Truths 2

Some truth should never be told,
Some truth should be told as a lie,
Some lies should be told as a truth.

Some truths must never be known,
Some truths must be told as a lie,
Some truths must be a secret.

Hide the truth and secrets and lies.

Tell the truth and secrets and lies.

Choose wisely.
Choose carefully.
Choose what's best.

Truths 1

Hey guys! want to hear some secret?? or secrets??


Scroll down to find out about it...

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the secret is... ~if you still want to know then scroll down more~

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1) to heavy for me to bear...
2) something that will remain as a secret... and not to be told...
3) something i will forever keep with me...

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Predicted Future Love Life

~Here's the story... i went to 1-u today to watch HSM3... though reluctant at first... but it was a nice show with relatively good seats... so anyway... after watching... we said... hey! the plot is so predictable but with a bit more drama in it... so i said i think i can predict my senior year... so we talked about it until it went to love life...~

These are the future love life i predicted... ~not 101% guarantee it will come true~ ~and it's the simplified version~ ~i DO welcome any new ideas~

Su Lynn:
She will keep falling in love with the wrong guy... either doesn't like her or has a girlfriend... she will meet her future husband who really loves her... and she loves him too...

Sharon Lai:
She will not get a boyfriend until she finish university... because she is "Puan Joyce's Daughter"... and secondary mates will surely follow her until university... however, she falls in love with a guy... who despised her in secondary cause pn Joyce caught his pants and hair...

Su Saint:
She will not have a boyfriend until she starts working... her husband will be someone who is as good as her and has good sportsmanship... to be able to compare with her... and is a doctor...

Jia Xin:
She will be a queen guide... in other words... a slimer version of ms margerat... She will have a man in her life but they are not married... and they stay together...

Sze Geet:
She will find someone who really really loves and really really cares for her...

Kai Boon:
He will be the world's most wanted bachelor... CEO of a top company... something related to chicken...

Wei Lian:
He becomes manlier/finds out he is gay/has a masculine wife... ~pick one~

Weil Shern:
His wife would be a hardworking girl... and a girl who can enjoy life... ~hopefully we are still friends then~

Shen Wen:
Her husband has to be an athletic guy...

Jin Yee:
He will continue playing in the orchestra... he will meet his future wife in orchestra... she is one of the top player in her section... he likes to pamper her...

Mun Keat:
He will be acting... therefore meeting his future wife... she can be sporting/typical housewife... but surely not Koe Yeet...

that's for now... any new ideas are welcomed...

~this is meant as a topic of discussion... nothing to do with the future of anyone above...~

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

it's all over...

it's all over now... i no longer have to suffer this misery... and uncertainty...

no more sleepless night... it's finally over...

i feel free now... no more worries about tomorrow...

i don't have to bend down under its powerful arm... i don't have to tell myself it's gonna be okay... because it's not okay...

i don't have to pretend i'm alright...

it's all over...

finally over...

the school exam is over...

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Rain rain

Rain rain... don't go away...
but please rain bigger...

it has been raining for the past few days... good news...

i mean... it's not hot... it's windy... it's cool... and my natural air cond is on...

but... it's raining drops... and drops... not really a heavy downpour...

humans are humans... we complain too much... when it is hot... we want rain... when it is raining... we want sun...

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Still beating fast...

want to hear a very drama thing... ok... it happened in midvalley 5 hours ago...

the queue for the cinema ticket was short... so anyway... out of something... i decide to walk the whole stretch... until my bro took short cut larh... anyway... instead of bending down... my bro just took off the string...

so i turned around to pass the end part of the string to my aunt... and when i turned back to the front... i saw him... his brownish hair... his smirk...

i sort of got stunt... you know when you see someone you liked before... suddenly appearing in front of you after 4 years...

i will never forget him... he has grown taller... but still has that handsome look... much more handsome now...

so it was kinda awkward... i just shot a short smile... i don't know whether he remembers me or not... he did smile back at me... i love his smile... so mesmerizing...

i didn't dare to say hi to him... damn awkward... so when we cut the line shorter again, i was the last one holding the end part... so i just past to him lorh... and still smile at him...

my heart was beating very fast... it wouldn't slow down after that also... though he was standing behind me... i just talk to my bro...

anyway... my heart is still beating fast... even now... it felt so like a drama... to turn around and see him... and to see him smile at me...

Monday, October 13, 2008

My PMR last year

today is the f3's PMR... good luck to all...

time really flies by... just last year this time... i was taking MY PMR exam... all the few months of preparation just for the 5 days... the anxious sleepless night... the prayers for luck... the shaking hands with friends for luck... the group studying...

and it all ended in the 5 days... we were free... well just for few months... but we were free at last...

we enjoyed our holidays... we sat together and talk... we got the whole rc room to ourselves... well, at least when seniors and juniors are not around... we played games together... we did so many things...

then... results day came... we had a meeting in the morning... so we were early in school... after meeting... we start chatting among ourselves... some were going out after results came out...

11 o'clock came... we were asked to enter the hall... my heart was beating faster by the minute... hands were turning cold... well... it was not just me...

of course... malaysians will always be late... the results were given late... so we waited and waited... until we started falling asleep...

the principal went up the stage many times... words of encouragement and so on... but the results were never announced...

finally... the principal came up... and besides telling us the results are out... she told us the statistics of how many As we got... which subject got all As... and still babbling...

then she announced the results are with the teachers... WOOHOO... the results... FINALLY...

so... at first my class teacher told us to go according to alphabetic name... i was sitting in front... and girls got the privilege of getting the results first... so when i was preparing to go back... since i'm no.9 in class... teacher asked me to come in front... oh no...

so i sat in front of teacher... and teacher check through the name list... and say i got 8As... i was schocked... so when teacher was going through the result slips... i told teacher not to bluff me... teacher told me to be confident in myself...

the result slip was given to me... i looked at it and it was all in As... so we had to fill up some form... with the results obtained... i keep looking at the slip to check the result... and teacher said all As... don't need to check adi...

what? i was still shock... ok... then i went and find my friends... basically hugging and jumping...

so i told my mum my results... my mum was shock too... and i could hear my mum's collegue shouting from behind... went to my mum's work place... and her collegue suprised me with a confetti popper...

so... conclusion is... i ~till now~ can't believe i got straight As... but life has to go on... i'm living everyday as happy as i can... i don't take my exam for granted... i can't keep thinking i can get good results now just because i got 8As...

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Looking Back

looking back at my previous post... i realized how much i have changed... and how much things have changed... so a bit update on some things that have changed...

my girlfriend accepted her boyfriend back again.... ~wish them lots of happiness...~

i am talking a bit more with him... he even taught me add maths... ~yeah~ more topics... well, even if we can't be as close as before... at least we are talking...

i actually sat for exam... ok, i didn't study like what i promised myself and teacher... but i sat for it... minus that one day larh... but i went for the rest and also going for the last three days... i studied what i could and got big big big big help from SZE GEET... ~thanks so much~

i ask questions when someone ask me to do some things... so i don't get messed up with my brain...

ok... now are things that have not changed...

i still take for granted my holidays... i say to myself... that i WILL study during the holiday... but what i do was use the computer day and night... so haiz... like last time lorh... study the night before and the free time before exam...

i still lose my temper... although it has been less frequent... which is a good thing... that means i try to control until i can't...

i think that's all... but if you think i have changed or not changed somethings... and didn't joit down... please leave a comment,,,

thanks...

goodnight,
Shiau Ling

Friday, October 10, 2008

Winnie the Pooh

do i look like winnie the pooh?? i feel like i do... short, stout, eat a lot and love my friends...




为什么是你?

为什么会是你呢?

我有多久没看过你?一年吗?应该是吧!

那天你来我家找我。我真是没想到啊!想到以前我那样的对待你,你还记得我。握你的手,感觉真幸福。

可惜,这都是梦。现实的你和我,只有微笑和点头而已。

最近,是你的生日。如果你觉得是你自己,那就生日快乐!我永远祝福你的。我的朋友。

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

@#$% OFF

(due to some foul language involved... the words would be replace with symbols)

@#$% off larh... so what if you are a @#, you are pathetic you know?? HELLO!! You are 16 NOT a 6 year boy who sulk when you can get what you want!!

COME ON!! You are a boy or maybe a MAN!! BEHAVE like ONE!! I just don't get it!! it's only a girl you @#$%er...

AS IF SHE IS THE BEST!!

@#$% off you pathetic little @#$%^... STOP showing the @#$%^& face of yours!! BE A MAN!! Let your girlfriend HAVE SOME FRIENDS!!

LEARN to tolerate!! she WON"T cry just because you LET her HAVE some FRIENDS!!

i KNOW you DON'T like when i TALK to her!! but she IS my FRIEND!!

BUT i will be the GOOD person by WALKING away EVERY TIME you SHOW your PATHETIC FACE to ME!!

do you KNOW that WHEN you DO it... you ARE admitting you are a LOSER and a @#$%^!!

YOU MAKE ME SICK!! @#$%ER!! the WHOLE world would be BETTER WITHOUT YOU!!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

What Have I Done??

oh, what have i done?? what have i done under depression??

i really regret about it... but what is done has been done...

i can't change anything... but just have to accept it...

my mistake all because of you... you, the one who just can't see me...

Monday, September 29, 2008

A Picture Says A Thousand Words

just like the title... a picture says a thousand words... Go figure then...

























Saturday, September 27, 2008

你还记得我吗?

今天我看到了你,我们在同一个地方,你在东边,我在西边。可是你望我一眼,却认不出我,我对你招手,你的眼神充满了疑问。

你还记得我吗?我是谁,你知道吗?或许我只不过是你在世上认识的某个人,一点也不耀眼,也很普通。可是你知道你在我这些年的生活有多大的影响吗?因为你,我学了很多东西。因为你,我在那4天过得很开心。因为你,我勇敢去向社会踏出第一步,虽然到最后我还是放弃了。你真得不记得我吗?

是你变了,还是我变了?还是因为我曾经喜欢你,所以在茫茫人海之中看到你呢?

我在这十六年的生活,遇过了很多人,也爱过很多人。可是,我到底在多少个人的心目中有地位呢?到底还有多少个人记得我吗?

其实我很希望其他人能够记得我。每一次,我都会记得你们。路上遇到你们,都会和你打招呼。可是我不知道你是不是真的记得我。

你还记得我吗?

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Couples... B&W...

what's the best thing that you have when you couple??
a new guy/girl to be there for you when you are sad or happy

what's the worse thing about coupling??
you lose your life, school life and friends...

what's the best thing about having your friend coupling??
you get to feed on their stories...

what's the worse thing about having your friend coupling??
you get stuck in between and left alone...

what's the best thing about having the top5 coupling??
you know that they are good for each other...

what's the worse thing about having the top5 coupling??
they set a bad example to the younger kids...

what's the best thing about having a boyfriend??
there's someone there for you no matter what...

what's the worse thing about having a boyfriend??
he is always there for you until you lose your friends...

what's the best thing about having a girlfriend??
you become independent and manlier...

what's the worse thing about having a girlfriend??
you bend down like a dog and become a piece of disrespected boy just to keep her as your girlfriend...

A/N
what's the worse thing about being alone??
i'm still alone... and lonely...

what's the best thing about being alone??
i can crap about such stuff with no regret or fear that my boyfriend would dump me the next day...


Wishes do come true...

Wishes do come true... in another form...

sometimes when we wish for something, we do get it... but not the way we hope for...

for instance i wish to get a pet... i got 2 hamsters... i was actually hoping for a tsih tzu...

so be careful of what you wish for... it might come true... whether you like it or not...

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Laws of Shiau Ling

Since there are laws for Physics... i might as well tell my laws... not really my laws... but i thought of it... but i do not claim copyright over it...

1)Pythagoras' theorem Law
Application: if you are walking from the back gate to tapak... walk from the stairs near prefect room to your class... only apply to form4 or form3...

2) Charsiew siewyok Law
Remember how whenever you order charsiew siewyok fun, you get more charsiew??


ok... i'm actually bored writing this entry... so i shall stop here...while i go and play more games... wahaha...

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Tired...

i'm so tired... tired in pretending...

that i'm all right... that i am catching up in school... that i don't mind being alone... that i agree to your relationship... that i don't care about how you are acting... that i can close an eye on your stupid childish behaviour... that i don't mind being your puppet... that i keep thinking of cute hot guys...

I'm not all right... i can't catch up in school... i really mind being alone... i disagree to your relationship... i care of how you are acting... i can't close my eye cause you are a man, a well respected guy, not a cheap boyfriend that bends down to a girl... i mind being your puppet cause you don't care about me... and i don't think of hot guys... i just want a boyfriend who cares for me...

i just want someone to be there when i need... a shoulder to cry on... someone to share my feelings... someone who understands what i'm going through... someone who really cares for me...

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Marching...

hey... i'm cute... or that's what my junior thinks of us...

so today we had our 2nd perjumpaan... and i'm in charge of the marching section... ok... so training for the juniors... too bad... but we had our fair share too... 2 years back...

anyway... during the theory session... since i am not involve in it, i went round snapping... photos, of course... photos shall only be reveal at the end of our term...

and more marching... well... i can only comment that... the juniors have improved a lot... yeah... pat yourself on your back...

well... that's for now...

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Why? oh Why??

i don't want to talk to you anymore... you are terrible....

you never wish me happy birthday... ok... you 'kap qin' with my friends to buy the present... but you never say anything about it... it's so obvious you might not even know what that present is...

you are still not wishing me happy birthday... and it's too late...

and you don't keep to your word... stop pushing the duty around... and start giving me details before i freak out like the last time...

you take me for granted that i will do anything you ask me to do... but i'm doing because... i love BSMM...

am i your servant?? or a rag doll?? or that stupid bolster where you think of it only when no one is there to help you??

i am disliking you by the minute... and i'm frowning... like my dad... you should see my dad when he gets mad... that will be me next....

so stop acting as if we have no problem... that we are just fine... like before i told you i like you... because i'm really regretting i told you that... stop acting...

i want to have a real conversation with you... not ending it by walking away whenever our topic finishes... not starting it with a business matter...

whatever larh... i'm so emo nowadays... you be you... and i be myself...

Monday, September 8, 2008

ok... i know the post about my birthday is damn long... but i just want to share my story with you all...

ok... here is where i become emo...

for the whole day, i received a lot of birthday greetings... but not from him... did he forget about my birthday?? i waited until like now... but he had only tell me things about kursus kebakaran... or more like i asked him things...

even my junior was the first one to send the message... i didn't really expect him to wish me happy birthday... simple but touching...

i didn't really think about it... by how i wish he would wish me happy birthday... haiz...

ok... enough about him... let me tell you about the greetings i got...

there were simple ones... like just a happy birthday... a happy birthday song... making fun of my birthday ones... wishing me good health...?? greetings from genting... sweet 16... cannot call me small girl adi... and so many more...

but all in all... thanks for your greeting... i will truly cherish it...

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Heyhey... today is my 16th birthday... let me tell you what i did for this special day...

first, i had this weird dream... and i woke up to the story the radio was broadcasting... at 6am... it was a love story... but what i was dreaming about and the story are 2 different things... creepy subconscious dreams... never seem right...

ok... and then i started receiving messages at around 8am... messages after messages of wishing me happy birthday... not that i'm complaining ~this is the first year i'm receiving so many birthday greetings....~ but i want to sleep.... sleep.... on my cold bed... with my big pig and bolster... so messages after messages i replied...

until slightly before 9.30am... does the messages stop coming in... then i doze off... which at 10am, my mom starts screaming downstairs for me to wake up... arh... my bed... my piggy...

so i had red eggs for breakfast plus this experiment thing my mom did... baked tomato with egg and cheese... a bit too soft though... then i quickly changed to my taekwondo outfit... and run off in the car... without the target... oh no... what will happen to me and my bro??

at taekwondo lesson... our main instructor never come... so we had another sir come and teach... after warming up, we had to do kicking... the seniors were told to go to another section to practice target kicking... whew... no need target... the sir told us our kicks need to be above our belt or he will send us running in the field... never 'kena'... so lucky... but damn tiring... cause after the seniors go off, our lane very few people... so after kicking one round... walk back and start again... so tiring... and the finally sir said we could rest... then he called us back... i thought yeah... we can leave... he asked us to do burpy plus pumping... haiz... so i was damn damn damn tired...

after reaching home, i had another red egg... ~it's my birthday ok... i get to eat...~ then bathe... and then my friend sms me asking me whether am i going for orchestra practice... so the sms battle begins again... in the end... i ask my dad to send me for orchestra practice at 2.15pm...

when i reached there, i saw mr chan... and he said no junior practice... whatever, i'm there already... so i went and yam cha with my friend... during senior practice... i waited for 20 minutes before another violist came... it was terrible... i thought i will be the only violist... wah... pressure arh... so we played 'simple symphony'... it was ok... but have to do some homework... like the treble clef and some notes....

after orchestra... i went to digital mall to send my bro's phone for repair... then my dad bought a new phone to pamper himself... and after that we went to the ramadhan bazaar down the street to go food hunting...

it's terrible you know... how we chinese buy the food meant for the muslim's buka puasa... but... we are malaysians marh... and muhibah like the proton advertisement... so, we got satay, ayam percik, murtabak, otak-otak and roti jala...

after buying and picking up my bro from the house, we went back to my maternal grandparents' house and had dinner... my aunt bought me an ice-cream cake... Mmmmm.... after dinner, we were like sitting down... but not catching up... coz we were watching 'shaggy dog'...so we just sat there and watch... until my mom said it was time to cut the cake... ok... so 15 mins break from the tv to cut cake... photo taking and then eating cake... in front of the tv again... haiz...

so, today was a very busy day... and very tiring... it was actually one of my happiest birthday... coz although i didn't receive a lot of present... but i did stuff today...

oh... and my present from my parents is a new camera... so i took pictures for today... yeah... new camera...


my camera case and camera start guide


me and my mom


me and my dad


me and my bro... it took me soooo long just to get a photo of him with me...


my cousin bro... for the fun of it...


me and my big uncle... cute expression... hehe


the 'sisters'... i'm the youngest...


do i look like my aunt??


3 generation of ladies... and i'm still the youngest...


Family photo


small family photo... my bro is soooo tall now...


birthday cake...

Friday, September 5, 2008

i've been sick for one week and more... ok... not THAT sick... but still sick enough so i don't have to go to school... which means no one in school would've seen me for one week... but...

i don't think anyone MISSES me at all... maybe some... but not a lot though...

why? i tell you why... based on the messages i received...

1) asking me to pass up my laporan pengajar...
2) ok... this gurl is not bad... she tells me my homework...
3) asking me how am i just because my classmates are asking her what happened to me... which means she wouldn't ask if none of my classmates asked her... haiz... so i didn't reply her... too upset...

And only one person knows what really happened to me because i ask him some questions... and ok... he's a good guy...

no one else seems to know or tried to ask me... (there's such thing as phone and telecommunication)... maybe that's how it is once we reach form 4... everyone for their own self only...

so... here am i ranting how no one cares about me when there are more people less fortunate like me... cause i'm back on my blog... hehe... see the verse there??

Monday, September 1, 2008

my birthday is 6 days more... but here am i writing a blog because...

i'm sick and i can't sleep on the bed because my selfish brother who happens to be very irritating every time of the day is on it watching TV... and i so goddamn need a bed to sleep on...

hopefully i will be better once i turn 16... hehe

Monday, August 25, 2008

难道就不能帮吗?为什么?妈妈说得对,嘴唇薄的人没人性,又刻薄。。。往往会让我这一种人辛苦。。。

为什么要为爱所困呢?我看见两个人因为爱而让我看不起他们。。。第一个是我的最亲的人。。。因为分手而向周围的人发脾气,也不停得开始耍感情。。。另一个分手后却才知道已经失去了,而勉强的想要复合。。。让周围的人很辛苦。。。这两人可说是我生命里最影响我的人。。。我却因为他们分了手,而看不起他们。。。让我觉得他们把自己糟蹋到连人都不是。。。

而我被爱神耍了。。。为什么要喜欢我的最要好的朋友?让我失去了他,让我们不敢面对对方。。。却因为工作所需,而必须沟通。。。

为什么我的生活充满为什么?应该开始想解决方法了。。。

Friday, August 22, 2008

Hiya...

nothing much to say... just daydreaming this few days... finding ways to avoid doing those terrible mind bending, hand breaking and eyes 'opening' homework...

ok... really nothing much to say...

oh... to all sudoku fans out there... check out this website if you could be the next samurai sudoku for the year 2008...
www.MSIGsudoku.com.my

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

i've not updated for some time now cause i was busy...

first the school holidays came... then i had to go to Abdul Samad's installation... followed by a trip to Port Dickson which got me sunburned... haiz... then i had a sleepover at my friend's house... all in one weekend... by monday when i finally got back home... i was dead tired that i wore my contacts to sleep... and i was not feeling well...

not to mention lee chong wei only got a silver medal... but it means not much to me... but i think getting only silver meant a lot to him...

anyway... i got pictures for you to feast your eyes if you want to...


Photos from PD


Photos from rou ann's sleepover




Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I got tag... so i am playing this game... sorry to those that i shall tag... hehe...

Rules :
1. Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.
3. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.
4. YesNo tags back!!

- 1 2345678910 11 12 13 14 15 - start!!

One:
I love to solve sudoku until i don't even want to sleep...

Two:
I like to sleep until as much as i can... i'm like a pig...

Three:
I used to play the harmonica and performed before...

Four:
I cheat when i'm playing the viola in the orchestra... i skip bars or notes that i can't play...

Five:
Young kids and babies don't like me... hmm... i wonder why...

Six:
no matter how much i like to sleep... sometimes... i would stay awake until my parents are awake...

Seven:
I like good guys... or helpful guys... or guys who are good to me...

Eight:
I still haven't forget about my first crush in primary 5...

Nine:
I read books in the toilet... that's why i spent so much time in the toilet...

Ten:
I like clean nails... which means no dirt under the fingernails...

Eleven:
I don't kill mosquitoes... i only kill when they don't fly off after several warnings...

Twelve:
I want to go for dancing lessons... but my parents would not let me go...

Thirteen:
I like evergreen songs... or slow songs... i never like rock songs... or songs that has a lot of screaming in it...

Fourteen:
i want to join the CHS idol... but no hope larh...


Fifteen:
I hate child and teen actors... they make me feel useless...

My descendants:
-Su Lynn
-Sharon Lai
-Benedict
-Su Saint
-i'll think about it later...

Sunday, August 10, 2008

WE should learn how to listen to what others are saying... not just verbally but through their body language and emotions...

but we should also know how to talk... it's no use hoarding everything in your heart but not speaking it out...

when we do not see past the talking... and only see the reasoning... we lost out a lot... we never think to ask about their problems they are facing... we never offer a chance to let them talk their opinions because they are afraid we would scold them for not giving what we want them to do...

we always think we are right and that we have the right to punish others... but have we talk to them, listen to their problems... or have we gave proper warning... we never give warning and just imply the punishment... is it fair for the others??

when we do not listen... we are not respecting others... we treat them as shit if i may say....

that is why, we should listen and give a chance to others to speak...

and in my case, proper instructions will do...
~even if you treat me like a piece of rubbish... i would forget about it... but please remember what you told me before you start scolding me for the cert... and involving others in my PRIVATE problems with you... and please respect others and their feelings... you might be more powerful but you are not the most powerful... oh... and you are a freaking scary power-hungry person... so wish you luck in your future...~

Friday, August 8, 2008

我本来以为我不再在乎那件事。。。可以在他们的面前谈那件事。。。可以承认当时我有错,也知道自己的缺点和优点。。。

可是原来我走不出那个阴影。。。当时我喘不过气,不能呼吸,心跳得很快,也差一点儿流泪了。。。 就离开了会议。。。虽然我知道这样子做很没有礼貌,可是当时我忍不住了,必须离开。。。

对不起朋友们。。。我知道我的事弄得你们不爽我。。。等我吧。。。我一定会好回的。。。

Monday, August 4, 2008

did i make the right choices?? did i walk the right path?? did i do the right turning??

who can tell me... i have been thinking nowadays whether quiting those things were a right choice?? neither way, i do not want to regret the choices i made...

things i have quit to make my life a bit more tidy:
chinese lit
YE
Piano
band

things i didn't join and thinking whether was it a right choice:
english lit
dancing
wushu

Friday, August 1, 2008

Time flies so fast... Just when you thought you can wait for a while before dealing with it, it just pass by without saying anything...

it was just like yesterday when i first started out as a member in BSMM... now in slightly less than 20 hours, i will be officially a committee member...

it really flies... flies faster than a bullet train... faster than PN Sim... i really wished that it will stop and give me some time to breath and plan out everything... but too bad it wouldn't happen...

Thursday, July 24, 2008

一直听人说十六岁是最甜的年龄了。可为什么我喝了这很苦的茶呢?为什么我泡的茶如此苦呢?难道我不能继续喝甜茶吗?我应该如何才能把苦茶便甜呢?

我用的材料如下:
一杯感情, 一桶心血,一瓶懒惰,半杯努力,一点点骄傲,一点点自以为是,半杯希望,一瓶开心, 半桶失望,一桶伤心, 一桶自责,一桶信心。

为什么现在的我如此讨厌自己?对自己失去信心,不再相信自己,不再希望会成功,只希望做得到,因为不想再次受伤害而变得自私, 因为曾经被伤害所以讨厌自己。。。
Hehe... just trying out this chinese program i just downloaded... allow me to continue blogging in chinese...

一直在找着可以让我在电脑写华语的program。可惜的是我一直找不到我要的东西。有的话,都只有一个月的期限。都不能够让我用多久。

Monday, July 21, 2008

Ms. Goh:

This is to reconfirmed your membership in 'I lost a close friend' Club. Your reason of joining back this club was, quoted 'I lost a friend because of my feelings to him that I cannot take back. We are no longer friends but just colleagues.' Your reason for membership is therefore strong enough.

A reminder here, you may resign from the club at any time if you have regain your friendship.

from,
The Club Manager.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

relax...

i need to relax myself... after going through ~and still going through~ i learned how to control my temper and how to talk to those idiots that just don't know how to ask questions properly...

so... when i'm at the verge of crying or mad... i'll take deep breaths and remind myself that these idiots will get their payback one day... one day... so i won't breakdown anymore ~hopefully~

anyway, i'm trying to stay positive... so.... wait for a new me...

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Complication...

Complicated people under complicated situation makes complicated relationship and cause more complicated situation...

my best friend solved her relationship problem already... she said no... so, everyone, learn to say no when you are feeling uneasy... it won't hurt to protect yourself...

ok, now that my best friend have solved her problem, i really really need to solve my own problem...

wish me luck... hwaiting....

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Today And Yesterday

i went for a H&G ~harmonica and guitar~ concert yesterday... it was nice because they were using of course guitar and harmonica to play songs...

i invited a friend i met at a YHC ~youth holiday camp~ few years back... it was fun meeting him back... we had a lot to talk about... so i think we should have more gatherings... so see you soon, Diong...

so, today i went for a dinner with the orchestra members and some of the small group members...

what's wrong with being close with a guy?? i have so many guy friends but no boyfriends ok??

ok, it was a short update only... so...

see you soon, i hope...

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Drama bit....

ok.. the saying is that drama life are fake and will not happen in real life... but i beg to differ... some part of the drama life WILL happen...

let me tell you why... remember those parts when the best friend steals the boyfriend... the girlfriend doesn't want the guy... the guy wants her back... ask her best friend what to do... and the best friend falls in love with the guy... and so on...

well, it's not so dramatic in my life but... ok...
my best friend which will call A broke up with the boyfriend which we will call B. anyway B really loves A and wants her back in his life... but A is in a conflict... to accept him or to say no... she avoided him for a few days but start talking to him again because she thinks it's bad to avoid... ~please don't think you can't be friends again after breaking up... it's too hard to stay that way...~ so B keeps sms me about ways to get her back... i keep chatting with him about her then...

not only about A, but we have another project together to do... we always whisper and i often see him because he has been staying back for a few days now... ~i don't like him because i liked someone else who probably don't like me the way i do...~

so today was my AGM... you know how girls hug each other right?? i was congratulating my friends on their post they got... so when it was his turn... it was awkward because i wanted to shake hands to congrat but our hands were like in between hugging or shaking hands... but we eventually shaked hands only... ~friends mah~ ~please don't get angry, A... it's just that we are a bit closer then before... but he really loves you... i'm only the middle person...~

besides... i have to forget romance... the guy i like... well i have been avoiding him... and when i congrats him, it was damn awkward... his hands were cold and i feeling like warming up... ~i warmed up hands especially girls... in exchange for some warmth in their hands...~ i really wanted to hold on to his hands but... it's impossible... i'm not sure whether we did it on purpose but after shaking, i did not immediately let go but hold on for a while...

anyway... it's just that now... with what he is... i've to forget i like him and act professionally with him... ~we both need to cooperate~ no more 'manja'ing and lunch with him... or badminton... haiz... what to do? who ask me to like him....

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The 'Oops' factor

~i meant to update this yesterday but somehow my connection was done...~

Ok, so what's with the 'oops' factor, you ask?

Well, here goes... i went for a Hepatitis B checkup... which means withdrawing blood from my fat hand...

see the word fat?? it means the nurse can't find the veins or if they did was the wrong one... so she tried on my right hand, inject, there's blood but it's not the vein, it's my skin punctured... so they ask me to rest for a while....

after half an hour, i tried with my left hand... Yay... Blood.... but still not the vein, so there goes another puncture...

last option, the back of my palm... to tell the truth, it hurts like hell... imagine feeling a needle under your skin... at the point of injecting, it was hell painful and it remained until the needle came off...

so conclusion, slim down and NEVER EVER allow the nurse to inject the back of the palm....

*********
the 'oops' factor version 2

Blood Donation taboo... the 'oops' word... Why??

situation: you are sitting on the chair, waiting for the nurse to withdraw blood... the nurse can't find your veins.. she starts slapping your arm to show the veins *hopefully*... sees a strand of it, says i think this is... she injects and... she says... oops salah...

thats what my uncle dread in donating blood....

********
going back to class, i had 3 plasters on my hand... like i just came back from a knife fight... but luckily i could still type....


Sunday, July 6, 2008

This whole week...

i promised myself that i will write my blog everyday... but... there are some problems... i am trying to change my blog template... but i couldn't... i spend 5 nights trying to do that, and i am getting mad every time i try to change... so if anyone could kindly tell me, what is a 'publicId' and 'systemId' i will be very grateful...

i just had an orchestra performance in Bukit Jalil G&C Resort... it was nice minus the food... we had better food last year... haiz... nizways, PJYCO is 25 yrs old, L&J is 27 yrs old and the founder is 60 yrs old... i thought he was only in his early 50s...

i said sorry to friends over my past behaviours... i know it's a bit too late... but maybe i was being selfish, i wanted to get those things off my mind... but guys are guys... haiz...

talking about guys... okay fang yin, i will tell which type of guys are handsome plus cool (to me only of coz)... guys who wears long sleeve shirt(preferebly light blue *my fav colour*), plus a tie (not maroon or any dark colour plz) and last but not least, a coat that fits (bob, your coat is toooo big for you, look at kerobob's... it fits)... must be nice looking (need not be the cutest), kind, around 175 or taller (but not 190 plz... unless i'm 180 which would not happen), does not smoke and so on... (i'm a bit picky though) (but it is for cute and HANDSOME guys lorh) a bonus, if that guy can play any string instrument....

ok... i'll write till here... have to sleep... i'll try to update once i can change my template (stupid blog skin)

goodnight and goodbye,
Shiau Ling


Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Tired...

I'm practically tired... Why?

My best friend is avoiding for reasons i am not sure... Maybe it has to do with something i said to him...

I am keeping my mouth and hands to myself... I am keeping myself not so active... I do not want history to repeat itself... (Am i being selfish?)

My girlfriend is having relationship problem and I would be happy to keep out of it... but I am seeing them everyday... When will they solve their problems?? Gambate...

I just had an interview and it did not go smoothly but it was so much more better then i expected... I am happy with what i chose for myself... it is a decision that cost me a lot... eg. friendship and maruah plus harga diri...

I am not confident in myself as I used to be... I used to believe in myself... but now... i have to take a lot of courage to take the next step...

I have lost friends from that B***** project... Even though i learned more of myself from that experience, i lost friends because of my frustration towards everything in the project....

Plus, homework is tiring me... what to do?? no homework for 3 weeks... and suddenly... HOMEWORK....

~wish me luck. i am making a big step forward and trying not to fall backwards...~

Problems!!

All problems start from the top. true??

i think most of us think so. it does not need to be the leader, it can start from anywhere even from the lowest rank.

BUT mostly once the upper part or the top part starts having problems, miscommunication and so on, something WILL happen...

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Reflecting the past

In the recent situation I put myself in, I found friends who supported to me. They were there for me when I needed a place to confide and cry. They were the ones who tried to pull me back from the narrow road I walked myself in. They were the ones that never give up on me. There were even those that even though they do not know the situation but still stayed with me.

Thank you for the support you gave me. You were there when everyone was giving up on me.

I have learned a lesson from that situation. NEVER MIND-READ was the piece of advice from my counselor. She told me I was mind-reading everyone. How I thought people will understand my problems when I would not even tell those people. So, I found out my weakness.

My weakness:

1. I never ask. I always thought that I could solve the problem myself. I thought that I do not need anyone’s help.

2. I keep everything to myself. I have never told unhappy things to my family. Classmates have never really seen the side of me being frustrated and hurt by friends. Close friends never know why I cried. They say I am being emotional. But it is only to them.

3. I can never be wrong. I never like failing in things or knowing I have done wrong.

4. I put too much expectation. Although my expectations are quite low, but there are a lot of it that I finally fall under its weight.

Enough of myself! What about you? Have you thought of your weaknesses and how to change? Have you often put down people just because you are slightly better than them? Have you ever wished you could just be ‘those’ people?

Stop wishing and stop looking down on people or yourself. You are you. If you try to be someone else, then you will not be yourself anymore. Believe yourself. Trust yourself. But never forget about those that are reaching out their hand for you.