Four Days.

Four days of camp just went by like that. not much to say and not much to regret.

But before that, i would like to apologise to the form 4s for my behaviour. i admit i shouldn't have lose my cool. i shouldn't have walked away from you guys. but by walking away, only then it doesn't hurt so much.

ok, back to camp...

although the 4 days i wasn't really happy, but at least there were days where i was really happy...

i now have 3 spoiled bikes.. so i know now never to bring my bikes to school, because they always get spoiled there...

i learned that i can do things myself... give me time then i shall finish it... i managed to solve the videos problem... although if i tried early, it would not have taken 2 hours sitting in starbucks.. my connection was down then...

things are not always what they seem... it takes time and heart to go deeper into it... so why can't i be like others? no matter how much i try, it seems like it is unappreciated or wrong... but somewhere deep in my heart, i feel a need to accompany him... where else others were chasing me away...

i realize, how much times has change... you guys have thaught me what i've never known... how naive i was to think you guys were naive...

i felt tension between two people... regardless of who they are... i could sense where things were going to... i wanted to try to stop it from happening... yet it happened... but what do i care... you have always been that way... there is no use changing you...

i tried turning stone hearted to them... but yet when i really need a group of people to chat with... they were there... those that i try to keep away from me...

when i was walking with him, talking with him, though i didn't reveal too much of myself... somehow i felt comforted... there was no form 4 available to talk to... they were all busy with the preparation... who am i suppose to talk with??

i realize, maybe talking is my specialty... all i could do is talk... but somehow... i know what to tell and what not to tell... i know the limits of speech i should have... i don't worry about myself, i think from their point of view... maybe that's why no one accepts me...

being a loser is not that bad actually... being a loser means you can help another person who is going through the same situation as you had experience... you can help them just the way you wanted someone to comfort you, to guide you and to bring you past the obstacle...

having a mask is hard, having a thick armor is harder... but it is all to protect myself... somehow, it is never thick enough... it still hurts like hell...

i promise myself never to cry infront of people... i never did... maybe i should never solve any problem but just run away from it... after all, i would be the person to blame...

who needs to BBQ chicken wings?? find me, for i can stick the chicken wings on to the stick... and you will have a nice chicken wing to eat...

i'm gonna keep my helping hands to myself... say i'm selfish or anything else... but you are no way better than me...

people who love to smile... usually have problems... they love to keep things to themselve... not wanting to involve any other party... because they believe that their problem should never involve anyone else...

i'm going to forget all the problems i kept in my heart... they have been kept so long in my heart that for once, i can't remember what the problem is... i know there is a problem that is clinging... yet i can't say it... so like a cobswebs i'm sweeping you away from my heart...

i'm going to forget about you guys and forget everything that had happened... not thoroughly, but still going to forget... that is the only way to break free from everything... the only way to be the simple minded person i was before...

in conclusion, i found out more about myself... i found out more about others... i had lessons i never knew would be thaught to me...

~LEGACY~you would always be remembered...