Haiz...

I'm very sad and frustrated and 'fui' already...

is that all of me only??

a fucking loser, a nobody, a rubbish, a stupid reckless girl??

i feel like giving up everything i have now and just leave this world...

friendship, studies, societies and dreams...

everything i do is wrong... EVERYTHING... nothing i do is right to the norm of the society...

maybe i can't accept the fact that time have changed... that a person can't happily be a nobody... that a nobody is equal to a fucking loser... that people nowadays sees only the outside... that everybody is a person by themselves... that i'm useless...

people can't get everything that they want... but i can't get anything i want...

i'm not doing the trip cause one, nobody is supporting me except lik chin, two, this year's plan is a total chaos... and three, i was told to think of others... so i let the trip go... no matter how much i feel like doing it...

i realised that the friends i thought i could not rely on turns out to be the only friends i can rely on... thanks Sharon, su lynn, su saint and lik chin... and other friends :weil shern, rachel, wei guan, wei liang, win yen and chia li... thanks you guys...

i shouldn't find X for opinions... X will say no to everything and give excuses... no matter how much the idea she give is good...

at this time... i have no one to talk to about how i'm feeling without hurting both parties' feeling...

so feel like crying... NO!! i must be strong... i must hurt back those that hurt me before... i must be strong to be brave and beat others...