Another Camp...

for the first time i celebrated Christmas in a 佛堂... the whole thing started on the 21st of December...

21st: for the first time i went to the camp meeting in a 佛堂... it was a very quiet meeting... i mean literally... only a few was speaking during the meeting... or when a person other than the few others, no one wants to listen... and please someone tell me... is the programs for the camp more important than whether to wear school uniform to take group??

22nd: my friend was late fetching me to the venue... so when we reached there... the comp com was not very happy... the schedule for the day was late... cause we didn't get the stuff needed to make the camp booklet... as we were late... so my senior went and got the stuff... then i had vegetarian 广东炒... it was terrible... too wet... then we had a rehearsal for the opening ceremony... not every was there yet so some people were temporary replaced... being a 辅导员, we don't really have to prepare much stuff cause we have to take care fo the kids... most of the kids arrived at night, the day before the camp... rushing the camp booklet until even after dinner... bathed at night... wait i think it is in the morning...

23rd: woke up early for the first time during the holiday... did a 开班礼... kowtow for the first time... falling asleep after the kowtow... don't know why so tired... by the time finished the ritual it was breakfast... very oily lerh...

PS: kinda lazy to continue writing... so i just write about my feelings lorh...

it was a new experience to help out in this kids camp... i somehow saw the younger versions of our teenagers nowadays... perhaps worse... i met new friends... and saw leng zai... i became a vegetarian for at least 4 days... not bad you know... doesn't feel so heavy as when you eat meat...

actually not much to write cause it's 2 in the morning... and i'm watching this dumb soldier movie... so... erm i think that's all...

过冬

Isn't 过冬 suppose to be when the whole family comes together to make 汤圆?

I woke up this morning to hear my parents chatting... It was 8.30am already... no sign of anyone else...

then i went back to sleep and woke up again at 11am... still no signs of my cousins...

until now... no one has been here... and all the 汤圆 has been cooked... and i had my share of it too...

why won't you guys spend your time to be here... Mama is here for you to care for...

no matter how busy you guys have been... this festival is only once a year like many others... just come back to visit her...

each of us have our own family to care for... but what about those that cared for us when we were younger... those that protects us from harm... who only wants to see you but you have been busy...

take some time out... be with your family... will it kill to spend at least one day in month with your parents??

i may be a kid... but i can see... you are parents yourselves... would you want your kids to treat you the way you are treating your parents now??

百善孝为先
filial piety as the first of the hundreds deed

Update!

Shiau Ling is finally 1st Dan after like 3 years... Passed with a C... ~ok larh... my average marks for all my grading...~

Shiau Ling got a new laptop... ACER... so now she doesn't have to fight with the family to bring the laptop to school...

Shiau Ling went to PC Fair and saw lots of leng zai gor gor... too bad she didn't dare to take their number and her camera is under repair...

Shiau Ling is changing her room's layout... to be able to bring the laptop in... hehe...

that's all for now... Shiau Ling will be back soon...

A Friend's Advice to Me

每个人都有优点和缺点。
没有一个人的缺点会多过优点。
你这样认为，
是因为你的想法是负面的，
明白吗？
相信你自己！
只要你好好的和一个人沟通，
当你好好的沟通的同时，
你的思想不要一直往不好的去想。
这样的沟通，
你会发觉到这个世界是多么的完美，
还有很多人都在关心你的。。。

Four Days.

Four days of camp just went by like that. not much to say and not much to regret.

But before that, i would like to apologise to the form 4s for my behaviour. i admit i shouldn't have lose my cool. i shouldn't have walked away from you guys. but by walking away, only then it doesn't hurt so much.

ok, back to camp...

although the 4 days i wasn't really happy, but at least there were days where i was really happy...

i now have 3 spoiled bikes.. so i know now never to bring my bikes to school, because they always get spoiled there...

i learned that i can do things myself... give me time then i shall finish it... i managed to solve the videos problem... although if i tried early, it would not have taken 2 hours sitting in starbucks.. my connection was down then...

things are not always what they seem... it takes time and heart to go deeper into it... so why can't i be like others? no matter how much i try, it seems like it is unappreciated or wrong... but somewhere deep in my heart, i feel a need to accompany him... where else others were chasing me away...

i realize, how much times has change... you guys have thaught me what i've never known... how naive i was to think you guys were naive...

i felt tension between two people... regardless of who they are... i could sense where things were going to... i wanted to try to stop it from happening... yet it happened... but what do i care... you have always been that way... there is no use changing you...

i tried turning stone hearted to them... but yet when i really need a group of people to chat with... they were there... those that i try to keep away from me...

when i was walking with him, talking with him, though i didn't reveal too much of myself... somehow i felt comforted... there was no form 4 available to talk to... they were all busy with the preparation... who am i suppose to talk with??

i realize, maybe talking is my specialty... all i could do is talk... but somehow... i know what to tell and what not to tell... i know the limits of speech i should have... i don't worry about myself, i think from their point of view... maybe that's why no one accepts me...

being a loser is not that bad actually... being a loser means you can help another person who is going through the same situation as you had experience... you can help them just the way you wanted someone to comfort you, to guide you and to bring you past the obstacle...

having a mask is hard, having a thick armor is harder... but it is all to protect myself... somehow, it is never thick enough... it still hurts like hell...

i promise myself never to cry infront of people... i never did... maybe i should never solve any problem but just run away from it... after all, i would be the person to blame...

who needs to BBQ chicken wings?? find me, for i can stick the chicken wings on to the stick... and you will have a nice chicken wing to eat...

i'm gonna keep my helping hands to myself... say i'm selfish or anything else... but you are no way better than me...

people who love to smile... usually have problems... they love to keep things to themselve... not wanting to involve any other party... because they believe that their problem should never involve anyone else...

i'm going to forget all the problems i kept in my heart... they have been kept so long in my heart that for once, i can't remember what the problem is... i know there is a problem that is clinging... yet i can't say it... so like a cobswebs i'm sweeping you away from my heart...

i'm going to forget about you guys and forget everything that had happened... not thoroughly, but still going to forget... that is the only way to break free from everything... the only way to be the simple minded person i was before...

in conclusion, i found out more about myself... i found out more about others... i had lessons i never knew would be thaught to me...

~LEGACY~you would always be remembered...