Tired...

I'm practically tired... Why?

My best friend is avoiding for reasons i am not sure... Maybe it has to do with something i said to him...

I am keeping my mouth and hands to myself... I am keeping myself not so active... I do not want history to repeat itself... (Am i being selfish?)

My girlfriend is having relationship problem and I would be happy to keep out of it... but I am seeing them everyday... When will they solve their problems?? Gambate...

I just had an interview and it did not go smoothly but it was so much more better then i expected... I am happy with what i chose for myself... it is a decision that cost me a lot... eg. friendship and maruah plus harga diri...

I am not confident in myself as I used to be... I used to believe in myself... but now... i have to take a lot of courage to take the next step...

I have lost friends from that B***** project... Even though i learned more of myself from that experience, i lost friends because of my frustration towards everything in the project....

Plus, homework is tiring me... what to do?? no homework for 3 weeks... and suddenly... HOMEWORK....

~wish me luck. i am making a big step forward and trying not to fall backwards...~

Problems!!

All problems start from the top. true??

i think most of us think so. it does not need to be the leader, it can start from anywhere even from the lowest rank.

BUT mostly once the upper part or the top part starts having problems, miscommunication and so on, something WILL happen...

Reflecting the past

In the recent situation I put myself in, I found friends who supported to me. They were there for me when I needed a place to confide and cry. They were the ones who tried to pull me back from the narrow road I walked myself in. They were the ones that never give up on me. There were even those that even though they do not know the situation but still stayed with me.

Thank you for the support you gave me. You were there when everyone was giving up on me.

I have learned a lesson from that situation. NEVER MIND-READ was the piece of advice from my counselor. She told me I was mind-reading everyone. How I thought people will understand my problems when I would not even tell those people. So, I found out my weakness.

My weakness:

1. I never ask. I always thought that I could solve the problem myself. I thought that I do not need anyone’s help.

2. I keep everything to myself. I have never told unhappy things to my family. Classmates have never really seen the side of me being frustrated and hurt by friends. Close friends never know why I cried. They say I am being emotional. But it is only to them.

3. I can never be wrong. I never like failing in things or knowing I have done wrong.

4. I put too much expectation. Although my expectations are quite low, but there are a lot of it that I finally fall under its weight.

Enough of myself! What about you? Have you thought of your weaknesses and how to change? Have you often put down people just because you are slightly better than them? Have you ever wished you could just be ‘those’ people?

Stop wishing and stop looking down on people or yourself. You are you. If you try to be someone else, then you will not be yourself anymore. Believe yourself. Trust yourself. But never forget about those that are reaching out their hand for you.